martedì 6 maggio 2014


Hi blog!
It's time. Time to say goodbye, maybe not to you, but to my dream.
Yes, last Tuesday Mary and Casi came over to announce me my time in the usa was over, and it was time for me to leave.

My dad arrived on Saturday, and we're leaving on Wednesday morning.

I'm so scared. I don't want to go. I never wanted to leave, not even in June. Ending it now feels like I didn't make it. I came so close to the finish line, but not cross it. It seems unreal. I haven't realize it yet. I don't want to go.

This has been the best thing I have ever done in my life, better than anything. This life I created is the best thing I have ever had. The friendships I have here, the best friends in the world, Emma, Emma and Rachel  are the most amazing people I know, the best friends anyone could ever ask for, and they are my friends. I  don't want to leave them. If it was for me, I'd llive here forever, go to USF, move to the city, study business... but it's not possible. I wish it could be.

SO yes, this is goodbye, yhe very last moments in the United States of America, the very last breaths of this air, the end of my dream. The end of the best life I've ever had.

I don't know what else to say but thank you, to evry single person that made this the best experience of my life.


sabato 3 maggio 2014

Exchange is

Exchange is change. Rapid, brutal, beautiful, hurtful, colourful, amazing, unexpected, overwhelming and most of all constant change. Change in lifestyle, country, language, friends, parents, houses, school, simply everything.
Exchange is realizing that everything they told you beforehand is wrong, but also right in a way.
Exchange is going from thinking you know who you are, to having no idea who you are anymore to being someone new. But not entirely new. You are still the person you were before but you jumped into that ice cold lake. You know how it feels like to be on your own. Away from home, with no one you really know. And you find out that you can actually do it.
Exchange is thinking. All the time. About everything. Thinking about those strange costumes, the strange food, the strange language. About why you’re here and not back home. About how it’s going to be like once you come back home. How that girl is going to react when you see her again. About who’s hanging out where this weekend. At first who’s inviting you at all. And in the end where you’re supposed to go, when you’re invited to ten different things. About how everybody at home is doing. About how stupid this whole time-zone thing is. Not only because of home, but also because the tv ads for shows keep confusing you.
Thinking about what’s right and what’s wrong. About how stupid or rude you just were to someone without meaning to be. About the point of all this. About the sense of life. About who you want to be, what you want to do. And about when that English essay is due, even though you’re marks don’t count. About whether you should go home after school, or hang out at someone’s place until midnight. Someone you didn’t even know a few months ago. And about what the hell that guy just said.
Exchange is people. Those incredibly strange people, who look at you like you’re an alien. Those people who are too afraid to talk to you. And those people who actually talk to you. Those people who know your name, even though you have never met them. Those people, who tell you who to stay away from. Those people who talk about you behind your back, those people who make fun of your country. All those people, who aren’t worth your giving a damn. Those people you ignore.
And those people who invite you to their homes. Who keep you sane. Who become your friends.
Exchange is music. New music, weird music, cool music, music you will remember all your life as the soundtrack of your exchange. Music that will make you cry because all those lyrics express exactly how you feel, so far away. Music that will make you feel like you could take on the whole world. And it is music you make. With the most amazing musicians you’ve ever met. And it is site reading a thousand pages just to be part of the school band.
Exchange is uncomfortable. It’s feeling out of place, like a fifth wheel. It’s talking to people you don’t like. It’s trying to be nice all the time. It’s bugs.. and bears. It’s cold, freezing cold. It’s homesickness, it’s awkward silence and its feeling guilty because you didn’t talk to someone at home. Or feeling guilty because you missed something because you were talking on Skype.
Exchange is great. It’s feeling the connection between you and your host parents grow. It’s knowing in which cupboard the peanut butter is. It’s meeting people from all over the world. It’s having a place to stay in almost every country of the world.
It’s cooking food from your home country and not messing up. It’s seeing beautiful landscapes that you never knew existed.
Exchange is exchange students. The most amazing people in the whole wide world. Those people from everywhere who know exactly how you feel and those people who become your absolute best friends even though you only see most of them 3 or 4 times during your year. The people, who take almost an hour to say their final goodbyes to each other. Those people with the jackets full of pins. All over the world.
Exchange is falling in love with this amazing, wild, beautiful country. And with your home country.
Exchange is frustrating. Things you can’t do, things you don’t understand. Things you say, that mean the exact opposite of what you meant to say. Or even worse…
Exchange is understanding.
Exchange is unbelievable.
Exchange is not a year in your life. It’s a life in one year.
Exchange is nothing like you expected it to be, and everything you wanted it to be.
Exchange is the best year of your life so far. Without a doubt. And it’s also the worst. Without a doubt.
Exchange is something you will never forget, something that will always be a part of you. It is something no one back at home will ever truly understand.
Exchange is growing up, realizing that everybody is the same, no matter where they’re from. That there is great people and douche bags everywhere. And that it only depends on you how good or bad your day is going to be. Or the whole year.
And it is realizing that you can be on your own, that you are an independent person. Finally. And it’s trying to explain that to your parents.
Exchange is dancing in the rain for no reason, crying without a reason, laughing at the same time. It’s a turmoil of every emotion possible.
Exchange is everything. And exchange is something you can’t understand unless you’ve been through it!

martedì 15 aprile 2014


Hi blog!

Yes, in two hours it will be exactly 8 months in the USA! I cannot believe it! Time is going by extremely fast. We're already in the middle of April. I'm leaving in 58 days and my dad and sister will be here in 49. Are you kidding me? For real though, it seems yesterday that I was counting how many days I had left for the first time with Nora, and we had 260 days to go. Now Nora is in Norway, she's been there for more than 4 months. I don't even see Charlie anymore, but I'm glad she found a friend in Emma from Norway. I still go to Mrs. Rankin class for nutrition break sometimes, but only to say hi to the other exchange students, I spend a lot of time in the library, and I like it. I'm friend the librarian now, ahah don't worry, just kidding. I still remember the beginning when my fixed bed time was 9.30PM and I had to wake up (crying) every morning at 5.30AM to take the 45 minutes bus ride to go to school and arrive there more than an hour earlier and freeze my butt in the freaking outdoor benches.

So glad that's over! Then I remember October 1st, when I first visited the Bryans house. I was so scared  and for the entire car ride I was questioning myself if that was the right choice, and probably less than ten seconds after coming in I didn't want to leave. I remember Emma and Weston, I still can recall what they were wearing and Emma trying to explain me what an homecoming float was. Then I remember my birthday, such a beautiful day! I got ballons at school, I had a spanish presentation (I nailed it!), Emma took me to Starbucks and when I got home there were some amazing pink roses and a huge sign saying "Happy Birthday Michela" That day I also met for the first time Emma Dennet, and at night we went to an Italian Restaurant downtown. I was wearing my white dress and I felt so extremely good and like I meant something. Then the surprise party, shopping in the City, meeting Rachel... wow time really flew in the past 7 months!

Looking back this is what I see:
-LONG intercontinental flight
-Hated being an only child
-Hated taking the bus
-Being disappointed because Casa has no lockers
-Changing family
-My birthday
-Shopping in the City (homecoming dress)
-First time at the movie theatre (Baggage claim)
-Football season
-Working at the Snak Bar
-4 Thanksgiving parties
-Black Friday Shopping
-Christmas Shopping
-Back to school
-Emma's Birthday
-Student of the month(march)
-Everybody asking about going back

I just said the most important things, there are so many other things in between, such as trips to San Francisco or Reno, Halloween, lots of sleepovers... Vampire Diaries, Revolution, Akward, Teen Wolf, X-Factor, Pizza fridays... well I have to say that I believe I'm one of the most lucky exchange students! I live in California, I walk to school, I have an awsome host family, super awsome friends, good classes, really no complaints.. and if could do it again, I really wouldn't change a thing, because even the bad start made me stronger and abe to appreciate more the little things.
I am extremely thankful for the opportunity that has been given to me!
After 8 months I know I learned a lot, I'm growing and becoming everyday more an adult, but I know now that we never stop learning.

The big question, besides how going back is going to be (I'll talk about that in a second) is actually what am I going to do after high school is over? I have no clue. I need to spend some time reflecting on it.

Going home.. only 2 months and I'll see everyone again, I don't know haow to feel. Yes I'm happy in a way, but I'm also sad beacuse I know it will be hard to readjust to my old life.. what if that doesn't fit me anymore? What if I realize that is not me anymore and that girl is gone? Because thinking about my old life I feel like that girl doesn't exist anymore, she left forever and a new Michela took her spot, a brever and more mature one, one who finally stopped comparing herself to others and found out that everything is possible if we really want to. And Ikinda like her, I really do.

I'm really exited about my dad and sister coming here! And graduation. Right now I feel Prom is going to suck foe me, because all my friends are Juniors so they're not allowed to go, and also noone asked me.. I just feel it, ok? It's going to be horrible. I don't even want to go.

Anyway, these 8 months have been the best of my life so far, let's see how the next two are going to be, and moreover enjoy every single moment! EVERY SINGLE ONE! Life is made of those moments, that become memories and we'll carry them around for the rest of our lives.

mercoledì 2 aprile 2014

Spring Break!

Hello blog!

It's me again, from the school library ..

I have not written in a long time and actually there is so much to say!

First of all: SPRING BREAK!

After the great day at the beach, Both Sunday and Monday I went shopping with Emma and Rachel at Northgate, a relly nice shopping center about 45 minutes north of petaluma. There I bought a lot of new clothes sring, That I actually really needed! And after 7 months I walked into an H & M again! For Those of you who do not know me, I was extremely obsessed by H & M in United States! I would go there every other day and know where every single item was! Anyway, I was really happy about that, of course we shopped at other shops too, like Pucsun and Forever 21. Both days I had so much fun! I freaking love hanging out with Emma and Rachel! Then on Tuesday I do not remember what I did, tbh .. but I do for Wednesday! Emma, ​​Wayne, Jennifer and myself, we went to San Francisco a tour of USF (University of San Francisco), it's where Wayne Studied and it's so pretty, I can not help not to love it! Really it's a beautiful school, in an amazing location,: such as the City and it's still pretty quiet and small, since it's located in the north part of the city, not in downtown, even being extremely close to it! I woul love to go there, but of course it's a private school That costs around $ 54,000 per year .. I can not even appear all that money with the $ 2,000 for Universities in Italy!
We had a really great day and to finish it off (actually it was not the end of the day, bacause we went to rachel's after, lol) we had dinner at a sushi place, I know That I could try sushi, and guess what? I loved it! so fresh and healthy. Here in the Us my favorites foods are chinese and japanese .. weird.

On Thursday we went to Weston's baseball game, Emma, ​​Rachel and myself. It was fun, and hot! For the Entire spring break the weather was super nice! I had to go to practice after That and Emma had GQ practices, So THAT worked out. After Jaleel came over Because He needed help for His talent for the show and his skit too. Of course he Talked the whole time and we had done nothing. Anyway When he finally left, Rachel, Emma and I went to Taco Bell at 1 in the morning and then slept over rachel. The day after was Friday and we went hiking in Point Reyes. Such a great work out! We walk up and down the mountains for 2 and a half hours, talking and hanging out. At night Emma and I needed to go to a benefit dinner for a girl's Senior Project with the entire family. It was fun, and the best part was the silent auction, where Wayne got Emma a HUGE Sephora basket! It was huge, really, and of course amazing, full of great stuff and amazing brands! After that we went to the movie theater to see Divergent, such a good movie! After we went to Rachel's and slept at her house. In the morning we decided to spend our last day of Spring Break going to the city again, to show Rachel USF. It was so much fun people! Three teenagers driving to San Francisco, great! Rach loved the school too, of course, it's gorgeous! Anyway it was already 4 o'clock and we didn't have an actual lunch (breakfast was at 11.30am lol) so we went to this place in Chestnut street that Rachel knew of. It was so pretty! They served french/american food and I had a delicious crepe! 
As we came back home we picked up Emma D and hang out the entire evening. Then the girls slept over and in the morning we discovered that Weston's friends slept over as well! They were upstairs while we felt asleep downstairs. So in the morning we had a delicious breakfast based of donuts, bacon and eggs all together, then they all left and it was homework time for us!

Such a successful spring break! And the weather was so nice! A perfect holiday people.

I know it's kinda late, but as you can read I had a lot going on lately.
Love y'all.

domenica 16 marzo 2014

Spring Break + SEVEN months in the US

Hi blog!

Today it's exactly 7 months in the USA!

I cannot believe it! Time is flying!

Friday was the last day of school before Spring break, and like every good California girl, I went to the beach on Saturday with the Emmas, Rachel, Sammy, Sarah and Katerine. I had so much guys!

It's been one of the best days since i've been here! For real, we left Petaluma at 12.30 (after a donuts at Safeway with the family) and we arrived at Dillon beach around one. We stayed there the entire afternoon, laughing and taking pictures! By the way, ocean water is freezing! It's like liquid ice.
At 5pm we packed up our stuff and went get food at a burger place at Bodega Bay, then we moved to a viewing point, always at Bodega, to see the sun set. I was freezing, but it waa totally worth it! AMAZING! really, watching the sun setting in the Pacific Ocean with great friends: an amazing day!

After that we just came back home, shower and then go to Rachel's to watch the new Vamipre Diaries and all the pictures Sarah took in the afternoon.

Such a great way to celebrate both spring break and 7 months in the States!

Peace out, girl scout :*

domenica 9 marzo 2014

Enjoy The Journey

I'm back,

I know, I'm late. I'm really sorry.

But time is going by so fast! It's already March!

I should write in Enlish, since I agreed to my AC who's my senior project advisor too to write in English so that even future host parents can read and understeand my blog, but I really have a mental block right now, and even if it sounds better in English, I'm a little too scare to make mistakes, cuz you know it's embarassing not being able to speak English after almost seven months in America, and going out to dinner and still hear people saying how much they love your accent or asking where you're from, so I'm sorry, but is going to be my last post written in Italian (I guess, not sure yet).

Salve blog,
è passato un bel po' di tempo.. vediamo eravamo rimasti a fine febbraio giusto?
Beh marzo è iniziato bene, con la cena di beneficenza per cui Jennifer (hostmum) ha preparato le decorazioni.. erano davvero fantastiche! Io non sono rimasta per la cena, perchè dato che si serviva alcol, i minori di 21 anni non erano ammessi, ma ho aiutato a preparare!

Quella sera io e emma siamo andate a casa dell'altra emma con rachel e sua cugina julia (adorabile, faceva tennis con me!) e altre due ragazze e dovevamo andare a una festaclandestina a casa di quella che abita di fronte a lei, beh arriviamo e dopo 5 minuti arriva la polizia a mandare a casa tutti!! ahaha emozionante... comunque noi siamo fortunate perchè andiamo di corsa a casa di emma che abita lì, dunque siamo "salve" ahah è stato divertente! Il resto della serata l'abbiamo passata tra yogurtland e inNout! Mi sono sentita molto American!

A scuola tutto regolare, la solita noia, anzi in Inglese abbiamo iniziato a leggere Hamlet e mi piace molto! Finalmente della letteratura seria! Non ce la facevo più di lebrettini del piffero strampaleti su Starbucks, la guerra o le cliniche psichiatriche!

A nuoto ho avuto la prima gara! si, sono arrivata ultima ahah ma per una che il primo giorno aveva paura di affogare (seriamente) e che ha nuotato (in una piscina, con un coach) per sole tre settimane non è andata poi malissimo! Ho fatto la staffetta 200 stile libero, e poi da sola 100 rana, con un tempo di esatti 2 minuti! Per me arrivare alla fine è stato già un grande traguardo! ahah

Il 4 Marzo sono stati 200 giorni in america! Non ci credo! Il tempo sta volando e penso sempre più spesso al ritorno, e non credo di essere pronta, NON SONO PRONTA! Non so come reagiranno i miei vecchi amici, so che tantissime cose sono cambiate e non credo di voler affrontare la dura verità di scoprire che mi hanno mi rimpiazzata (perchè so che è così) e che non hanno più bisogno di me.. ho un po' paura a dire il vero.

Ad oggi mancano 96 giorni alla mia partenza e 97 all'arrivo. E non me ne voglio andare.

Ultimamente spesso penso al futuro, che una finita quest'esperienza avrò un ultimo anno di liceo e poi non so cosa fare della mia vita, e mi perdo in questi pensieri che mi mettono una terribile angoscia. Io non so cosa fare. Non ne ho idea, il mio goal in life was doing and surviving through this, so I have no idea of what happens after. Cosa studiare, dove studiare, vivere a casa o fuori, restare in Italia o andare da qualche parte in Europa.. sono tutte domande che mi assalgono sempre più spesso a cui non trovo una risposta. Credo di poter escludere di tornare in America, il sistema scolastico non credo sia all'altezza di quello europeo e comunque è estremamente costoso.

Comunque parlando di cose più allegre, ieri è stata una delle giornate migliori di quest'Amefica, forse la migliore. Mi sono sentita libera e avventuriera, senza paura e felice, molto felice. Non credo di poter raccontare su questo blog, il che mi riporta al luogo comune del " le cose migliori sono quelle che non si possono raccontare" ma davvero, ne è valsa la pena. Posso solo dire che la parte migliore è il viaggio, non la destinazione.

Photo time!

Go Gauchossss (abbiamo perso..)

Ready for swimming practise

Il tema della cena era "Farm to Table"

Emma and I ready to party hard (5 minutes, guys, 5!)

Watching Brad Pitt at the Oscars <3

Guess who made frittelle on Mardi Gras? MOI!

200 days in the USA

I helped Jennifer making cupcakes for pizza friday!

Credo sia tutto per questo post! 

An se qualcuno ha voglia di commentare, una volta a settimana (il Lunedì) cucino io dei piatti italiani, e se volete contribuire con le vostre ricette preferite ve ne sarei grata forever! (sto esaurendo le idee ahah)


lunedì 24 febbraio 2014

Feeling good

Hey blog!

E' passato un bel po' dall'ultimo aggiornamento e h alcune novita'!!

Prima di tutto mi scuso per i vari errori di grammatica e accenti, ma sto scrivendo dal computer della biblioteca a scuola, che ovviamente ha la tastiera americana senza accenti -.-

Comunque, tornando a noi, eravamo rimasti a inizio Febbraio giusto? Beh adesso e' quasi la fine e il tempo e' volato.. 110 giorni e torno in Italia, sembra impossibile, davvero quello che quest'esperienza mi ha dato e continua a darmi ogni singolo giorno. Sinceramente non ricordo i motivi che mi hanno spinta a partire, o comunque non sembrano cosi' importanti oggi, ma sono fiera di poter dire che sia stata la decione migliore che abbia mai preso. Sono cresciuta e mi sento un pochino piu' sicura di me stessa ogni giorno di piu'. Ho dimenticato tutti i terribili momenti all'inizio, ma comunque li ho sfruttati per migliorare e rendere quest'avventura la cosa migliore che mi sia successa. E il fatto di avercela fatta (finora) contando solo sulle mie forze mi fa pensare che magari non sono poi cosi' tanto male come pensavo.

Parlado di cose accadute:

Due settimane fa ho iniziato nuoto, e nonostante il mio inizio terribile, ogni giorno va meglio (si perche' ho allenamento ogni giorno D:) e anche se la piscina e' scoperta e muoio congelata ogni volta, io do del mio meglio!  E il prossimo martedi' ho gia' la prima gara ahahah vedremo come andra'.. e come dice sempre il mio papa' : ci vogliono anche gli ultimi! ahaha

Pooi a San Valentino tutta la scuola era piena di cuori, rose, cioccolatini ecc. e io sono stata a casa tutta la sera a mangiare pizza e gelato guardanto dear John, Crazy stupid love e the Cupcake Wars ahah  e' stato fantastico!
Poi le solite cose, sono andata al cinema con Rachel, a vedere le partite di basket della scuola o Vampire Diaries da Emma D o Rachel.
A scuola tutto bene, questa settimana dovrebbero darmi la pagellina per il primo grading period del secondo semetre e non sono molto sicura di matematica perche' l'ultimo test non era andato benissimo, ma non so il voto...

Siamo andati a mangiare in un ristorante Italiano qualche giorno fa e io ho preso Half and Half, che sarebbe meta' gnocchi, meta' ravioli al pesto e non era male, sinceramente non lo definirei italiano, ma sicuramente meglio di altri posti!

Mi sembra di essere migliorata nel capire le persone quando parlano, ma soprattutto nel farmi capire dalle persone, anche se ovviamente non sono ancora capace di parlare decentemente.. alcune volte e' frustrante, ma alla fine io do il meglio di me sempre e cerco di migliorare.


Mettero' la foto in un altro post quando torno a casa, perche' non ho il cavo USB per connettere il telefono al computer adesso, comunque e' rosso, senza spalline e abbastanza semplice, ma mi piace tantissimo!

Negli ultimi giorni ho sentito abbastanza alcuni dei miei amici in Italia e credo sia estremamente vero che con la lontananza si capisce chi siano o meno i veri amici.. devo dire che pensavo di essere delusa, ma in realta' me l'aspettavo, quindi e' stata solo la conferma delle mie supposizioni.

Con i miei sto gia' parlando di quando mia sorella e il padre vengono a trovarmi per la graduation, e anche a scuola si parla un sacco di quello e che mancano poco piu' di tre mesi e io non voglio crederci, insomma tra poco piu' di tre mesi sara' tutto finito. Tutto quello che volevo fare, la mia avventura, quello che ho sempre sognato.. e mi domando, cosa faro' dopo? Insomma quando a 17 anni hai gia' realizzato il sogno piu' grande che avevi, cosa farai? Trovare un nuovo obiettivo? Si, ma quale? E l'universita' poi? Insomma sono piena di domande e non riesco a trovare le risposte, ho paura del futuro, ma so che andra' bene, insomma se sono sopravvissuta 10 mesi a 9869 chilometri da casa, senza mamma e papa' con gente strana che parla una lingua che non e' la tua, ma che dopo quasi sette mesi senti come tua, che quando suona l'inno ti senti parte di quegli Stati Uniti D'America anche tu, che durante le olimpiadi invernali quando chiedi abbiamo vinto? Intendi USA, anche perche' sai che in tre quarti (o piu') degli eventi l'italia neanche arriva in finale, ma comunque fai stare tutti in silenzio relioso quando e' il turno di Carolina Kostner in figure skating.

Mi sento bene e sono soddisfatta di me stessa, e anche se non credo di essere ancora psicologicamente pronta a tornare, so che il momento arrivera' presto e devo preparami e affrontare questo addio come un ci vediamo presto, perche' il mondo e' piccolo e quando hai due case, una dall'altra parte del mondo rispetto all'altra il tuo mondo e' ancora piu' piccolo, ma la tua conoscenza di esso e' estremamente piu' grande.

Oh, e' ora di andare a matematica, see you soon blog!